It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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