Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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