you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
