i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
