Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
