i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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