My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
