I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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