nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
