It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
