Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
