'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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