It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
