He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
