i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
