At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
