piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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