OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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