Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize