She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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