The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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