Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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