How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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