we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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