I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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