I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He better not be in your backpack
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
