she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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