Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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