Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
