Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize