I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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