well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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