Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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