Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
