Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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