Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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