she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
