Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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