I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
