i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize