Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
