so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
