On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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