Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
