I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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