Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
