Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
