Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
