i permit you to call me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
