The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have already put on my inside pants.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
