i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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