He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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