I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
