I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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