Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
