my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
