Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize