I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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