I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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