It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
