well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
two words: eviction party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
