We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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