I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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