I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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