how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
