Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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