Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
