It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
